04 September 2009

Broxton the Starter

In a parallel universe, Jon Broxton is a starter.

Start 1 ( Apr 6 - 23 )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
8.1 -- 2 -- 1 -- 0 -- 13 -- 0 -- 108

Time moves faster in that other universe. That's why Broxton the Starter's starts stretch over several days. Broxton the Starter's first start is fabulous, a near complete game masterpiece that features a baker's dozen of strikeouts and no walks.


Start 2 ( Apr 24 - May 5 )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
5.2 -- 0 -- 0 -- 4 -- 12 -- 0 -- 107

It is an amazing coincidence that Broxton's the Starters stats are exactly the same as Broxton the Relievers stats. They match up, like, perfectly. Dude. It's cosmic. Actually, it's not. There is no link between the two universes. It's just a coincidence! Broxton the Starter was dominant in his second start, but used too many pitches walking batters and was lifted in the sixth even though he had a no-hitter going. In frustration he proceeds to destroy a cooler full of the sports drink Crocade.


Start 3 ( May 10 - 20 )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
7.0 -- 4 -- 2 -- 3 -- 7 -- 0 -- 118

Broxton the Starter takes a break from his amazing strikeout binge, but he still turns in a fine performance.


Start 4 ( May 23 - June 3 )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
6.0 -- 2 -- 1 -- 3 -- 10 -- 0 -- 107

Another fine start for Broxton the Starter. There is talk he may win the Cy Old Award for best pitcher in a parallel universe.


Start 5 ( June 5 - 20 )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
7.0 -- 5 -- 3 -- 2 -- 12 -- 1 -- 111

Broxton the Starter gives up his first home run of the year and ends up with a good but not great start.


Start 6 ( June 21 - July 5 )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
5.2 -- 5 -- 5 -- 4 -- 11 -- 0 -- 105

Broxton the Starter has his first bad start. Though he's still striking out batters at a fearsome clip, the walks doom him.


Start 7 ( July 10 - 29 )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
7.0 -- 6 -- 3 -- 3 -- 9 -- 0 -- 110

Broxton the Starter rebounds with a decent start, but he has yet to recapture his early season magic.


Start 8 ( July 30 - Aug 15 )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
6.0 -- 6 -- 4 -- 3 -- 4 -- 3 -- 102

Another poor start, in which Broxton the Starter shockingly gives up three home runs. Even more ominous perhaps is that his strikeout total is so low by his standards. This is his fourth straight start allowing three runs or more. No one is panicking, because two of those four starts were still pretty good and even the best starter may go through a rough patch, but there is some concern.


Start 9 ( Aug 17 - Aug 27 )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
7.2 -- 5 -- 1 -- 2 -- 11 -- 0 -- 108

Broxton the Starter silences all talk of a lingering injury or slump with a dominant performance in which the only run he allows is unearned.


Start 10 ( Aug 30 - ??? )

IP -- H -- R -- BB -- SO -- HR -- Pitches
4.0 -- 2 -- 0 -- 2 -- 8 -- 0 -- 71

Though still underway, it appears Broxton the Starter's latest start will be another gem. Of his nine completed starts, Broxton the Starter has had 5 excellent games, 2 good, and 2 poor, with none being more-runs-than-innings-pitched disastrous. The only thing keeping Broxton the Starter from being hailed as the best pitcher on the Dodgers is Kershaw the Closer, who has struck out every batter he has faced.



Game 135 Unfair Win Shares ( Dodgers )

Garland -- 1
Manny -- 1
Belliard -- 1

From a cynical perspective Garland had the perfect first game for a new team. He pitched well and made a good first impression, but not so well that expectations will be too high for him in subsequent starts. He got enough run support to win, but not so much that it felt like his efforts didn't really matter.

Belliard somehow ended up with 3 runs batted in. Is the plan to play him every day? Every other day? I guess I can't complain too much about that, since the players he would play in place of aren't doing too well lately.


Game 135 Unfair Loss Shares ( Snakes )

Allen -- 1
Buckner -- 1
Young -- 1

You could argue that by trading for Garland the Dodgers also traded for their win today. I think it's a pretty tenuous argument but I find it amusing, so I'm backing it up.

1 comment:

Andrew said...

"No one is panicking, because two of those four starts were still pretty good and even the best starter may go through a rough patch, but there is some concern."

Now I know this wasn't based in reality.