10 July 2009

Lineup Explosion! -- Game 85 Unfair Win Shares

1. Furcal -- Furcal scored 3 times, and was on base 4 times. The July anti-slump continues. If he can keep this up the rest of the year, we can merge Furcal's first half slump with his second half anti-slump and it will be as if Furcal never even played in 2009!

2. Ethier -- The first day of the Andre-protection program went well, as he had two hits and walk with Manny on deck. No, wait, the last hit came with Juan Pierre on deck. Did Pierre protect him?

3. Manny -- Have you ever seen the two guy? He's a lawyer by trade, a lover of twos by hobby. He's a duophile. His billboards used to be a common sight on the CA-99 between Fresno and Bakersfield. "Accidentes!" these billboards proclaimed at the top, below which was the smiling lawyer, holding up his phone number for all the world to see. 1-800-222-2222. Spectwocular. All twos. That was the two guy. If I ever get really rich, I'm going to buy that phone number for myself. Of course, I'll make sure it's unlisted so I don't get crank calls.

Anyway, yesterday Manny was the two guy. He went 2-2, with 2 walks, 2 runs scored, 2 runs batted in.

4. Blake -- Blake was 2-5, with a run scored and a run driven in, but by the standards of yesterday's offensive explosion that was a below average game.

5. Loney -- I checked, and there is nothing interesting at all to say about Loney's game yesterday. Here is where the wise-ass says that it didn't stop me for the first four Dodgers in the lineup!

6. Martin -- Martin's on base percentage is 0.374. He may be a huge disappointment this year, but one thing he's not is a black hole in the lineup.

7. Hudson -- Hudson's box score line is among the least impressive from last night's game, but he had the biggest hit of the game, even if he was very slightly aided by Evans' incompetence in the outfield.

8. Kemp -- Matty-boy is still batting eighth. Regarding this baffling and unpleasant subject there is a get-it-out-of-your-brain-and-then-never-again-complain session going on at Dodger Thoughts. Afterward all the comments will be burned and the ashes will be sprinkled into Joe Torre's Bigelow tea, as a sort of folk cure for his batting-the-BIG-kEmp-LOW affliction. ( See, it's obvious that the tea is subliminally affecting him --- Torre needs to start drinking Bisonforth tea. )

9. Wolf -- Wolf's record of 4-3 after last night's win matches his uniform number. If he wants his number to continue matching his number, he'll have to lose his next start, since 53 is unavailable. That was Don Drysdale's number which was retired in 1984. Since then it has been a thoughtcrime to even think about wearing 53. So don't think about it, Wolf!

Unfair Win Shares ( Dodgers )

Wolf -- 1
Manny -- 1
Hudson -- 1

Unfair Loss Shares ( Metropolitans )

Evans -- 1
Hernandez -- 2

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