25 August 2009

Fire Joe Torre

I take it back if it turns out both Broxton and Sherrill were hurt in the 'pen. I like McDonald as a pitcher, sure, but you don't go to him in the tenth inning of a tie game at Coors when you have those other options. I guess Torre was saving Broxton and Sherrill for a tag-team save if the Dodgers ever got a lead.

The Dodgers have collapsed. There is no getting around it. They have collapsed from a 0.670 team to a 0.500 team. They play like a team hoping to get the breaks they need to win the game. Anyone who watched that game can make excuses for the Dodgers. Good excuses, sensible, level-headed points. Screw that. I want no part of that. Make your own damn breaks, Dodgers. Hit home runs. Strike out hitters. Don't wait for the bloops to fall in, or lament the hard hit fliners that the Rockies catch. The Dodgers got lucky in the ninth with Pierre's single, and they got clutch when Manny drove in the tying run, but they didn't do enough before and after.

Fire Joe Torre. Fire him. Right now. It's easy to say because it won't happen. It's like cursing at the empty sky. It doesn't mean anything. Fire Joe Torre. It's just release of frustration. You know how Jon Weisman of Dodger Thoughts says his blog is his outlet for dealing psychologically with the Dodgers? Well saying "Fire Joe Torre" is my outlet for dealing psychotically with the Dodgers. FireJoeTorre Fire Joe Torre FIRE JOE TORRE!!! I'm going to be like Jack Nicholson in the Shining, typing it over and over.

Who would they hire? I favor Bob Dylan. Seriously. Why not? His decisions as manager would make just as much sense as Torre's do. He would be a natural at protesting games. He could ramble in the dugout and crack guys up but since no one could understand what he was saying the bench coach would be the de facto manager. Who is that, Mattingly? Man, I don't know. Bob Shaefer. I had to look it up. Sheesh.

Fire Joe Torre, hire Bob Dylan. He could wear his real last name on the uniform. Zimmerman. That would be cool. I'm all for it. I'm going to start an internet petition, just as soon as Juan Pierre hits his next home run.

No comments: